In this blog, Program Coordinator Jennifer McNaughton explores some of the most common misconceptions about IPV, addressing why leaving is often complex and dangerous, how abuse can happen behind closed doors, and why there is no single “look” or “type” of survivor.
Read on to learn more.
What Are Common Misconceptions About IPV?
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is often misunderstood. Many people think abuse only involves physical violence, but IPV can also include emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, verbal, and digital abuse, as well as coercive control, intimidation, and isolation. Abuse can affect people of all ages, genders, cultures, and backgrounds.
Common Misconceptions
“If it was really abuse, they would just leave.”
Leaving an abusive relationship is often complex and dangerous. Survivors may fear retaliation, homelessness, financial instability, losing children, or increased violence. Many stay because they are trying to survive and stay safe.
“IPV is only physical abuse.”
Abuse is not always visible. Emotional manipulation, threats, controlling behaviour, financial control, stalking, and isolation can be deeply harmful even without physical injuries.
“It only happens to certain types of people.”
IPV can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, income, education, culture, or relationship status. Abuse often happens behind closed doors and may not match common stereotypes.
“They don’t seem abused.”
There is no “look” or “type” of survivor. Many people continue working, parenting, or appearing calm in public while experiencing abuse privately.
“Abusive partners are abusive all the time.”
Abuse often happens in cycles. An abusive partner may apologize, promise to change, or be affectionate between abusive incidents, which can make relationships confusing and difficult to leave.
“Children aren’t affected if they don’t see the abuse.”
Children can still be deeply impacted by hearing arguments, sensing fear, or living in a tense and unsafe environment.
“Stress, alcohol, or mental health issues cause abuse.”
Stress or substance use do not cause abuse. Abuse is rooted in power, control, and harmful behaviour choices. Responsibility always remains with the person using abuse.
Why Challenging These Misconceptions Matters
Misunderstandings about IPV can lead to victim-blaming, stigma, and survivors feeling unsupported or unsafe seeking help. Education and awareness help create safer, more compassionate communities where survivors feel believed and supported.
Learn more about how Alice House supports survivors of IPV.